Our connection to our surroundings is through our physical body. With our senses offering a grounding cord to help anchor us to the present moment. During anxious times, especially now, the following sensory grounding practice may be a helpful way to guide us from the overwhelmed mental/emotional state to a more centred, grounded mental/emotional state.

I thought it might be helpful to offer up a grounding practice I learned during the early stages of my social work career. At the time, I was providing mostly crisis counselling and found I myself needing grounding during times of overwhelm. As it acted as an anchor, I shared it with my clients and I share it with you now.

It’s referred to as the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding practice.

This exercise focuses on the 5 senses: sight, sound, touch, smell, taste. It involves paying attention to one sense at a time. Each sense, when we attend to, can bring us back to the present moment.

The practice goes like this:

A common concern that has been presenting itself for many of my clients is the anxiety that arises with going outside, into public spaces (i.e. grocery stores, work environments, school settings); as well as the anxiety arising during the holiday season. The common denominator of all these scenarios is most likely the felt sense of fear.

Given what’s happening in the world today, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the case for many people. With the pandemic still in our midst, the sense of fear and not feeling safe will be felt by many.

The phrase that has been common this past year is “We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat”.

Not only are we dealing with the storm of the pandemic… we are also dealing with the storm occurring internally… the mental storm.

In the midst of the storm, can we remember to anchor ourselves (our boats) and practice grounding so that we are not swept up by the fear.

For when we are in a state of groundedness, we are better able to handle whatever storm arises.

Our connection to our surroundings is through our physical body. With our senses offering a grounding cord to help anchor us to the present moment.

The senses (Touch, Sight, Sound, Smell, Taste) can help to bring us out of our heads (the mental storm), ease the anxiety, and connect us back to this very moment.

Below are some sensory practices to help cultivate groundedness during unsettling times:

One common personal self-care practice that is commonly spoken about is journaling. What better way to keep yourself company than through the practice of journaling.

If you have the tendency to keep busy, and find it difficult to just “be” with yourself, journaling may be the practice for you.

Personally, I have had a conflictive relationship with journal writing. I start and then stop… leaving in my wake several blank and unfinished journals. Many can probably relate to this.

When I was younger, my oldest sister would gift me with journals for Christmas holidays and I would eagerly write down my thoughts and feelings; in addition to many other things. But as I grew older, that practice became more sporadic.

This past year has been a little different for me. I have reconnected with my journal again. Indeed, I have befriended myself through journal writing.

As pretty much all of us have gone through quarantine to varying degrees at some point this past year, my time in quarantine was spent with a lot of personal, reflective time. Which honestly, I deeply appreciated and needed.

If you’re interested in spending more time with yourself, in keeping yourself company through self-reflection, below are some ideas for journaling that I have found helpful and ones that my clients have mentioned were helpful:

“If only I had ____________ , I would be happy”…. The premise of “the grass is always greener on the other side”. Moments when we feel that we would be happier if only something different was happening. It doesn’t sit well when we are grasping, holding on, and moving through life with the attitude of scarcity — the attitude that there is not enough to go around or we’re not enough and need to have more to be better. We are narrowly focused on what’s not going right. These are times when we feel dissatisfied and small.

To live with an attitude of abundance, there is an expansive quality to it. We feel filled up instead of depleted. We feel generous and have much love to share. Recognizing that there is plenty to go around and that we are more than enough. We are content and at peace, even in moments when things are not going as planned. We are more present instead of lost in the past or obsessing over the future. When we operate from an abundance mindset, we have the capacity to widen the lens and see a broader view of the world around us — we see the pain but we can also see the beauty around us.

When we worry we spend more time in our heads than in the present moment. We think that we are “doing something” but instead, like the rocking chair, there’s movement but we are going nowhere.

It still leaves us in inaction, it leaves us isolated, disconnected from ourselves, the people in our lives, the world around us.

Of course, there are times when we need to plan and prepare.

The worry, I am referring to, is the thoughts running around in our minds about the “what ifs”; it’s the anxious thoughts that pull us into future thinking; it’s when we ruminate over the unknown.

Kwan Yin - Kwan Yin - the Bodhisattva of Compassion - she has been referred to as the female Buddha. Her name translates to mean “the one who hears the cries of the world."

This beautiful sanded Kwan Yin statue was a gift from my husband this past Christmas. I have learnt about Kwan Yin from my yoga mentors over the years and the image of Kwan Yin has shown up quite often for me in the past while. Seeing her image is a reminder of compassion to myself and others. It is a key ingredient to our wellness that often seems missing when I begin my work with therapy clients.

Although I have been practicing yoga for a long time, it took me a while to figure out that yoga was more than just yoga postures. My first thought of yoga was most often tied to yoga classes, yoga sequences, and flexible people.

Once I was able to see yoga as more than just postures, I was able to experience the richness of its effects on and off the mat. I was able to connect to my body through movement, breath and meditation. All of which, encompass yoga.

Are you feeling disconnected from your partner? Do you find that you can’t communicate or have trouble as a couple with conflict resolution?  Do you have diminished sexual desire and activity level? Do you find that you and your partner are replaying old arguments and resurrecting past hurts? Is resentment and contempt replacing patience and love? Do you feel as though you can’t be yourself around your partner?

If you are experiencing this or any other type of relationship issue, couples counselling can be an effective way to get support in these areas. Counselling can provide a space to discuss your concerns with a third party who can help you identify the negative cycles keeping you as a couple in distress. If you have concerns about your relationship, I would strongly encourage you to seek out a therapist who has experience and specializes with counselling couples as couples counselling is quite different from individual counselling.